As a teenager and young adult, we reach many “ends” in our lives. Some of these are easily followed by new beginnings – finish middle school, go to high school; complete driver’s ed, begin driving. Other ends, however, just seem like dead ends, with nothing new in sight. A relationship (of any kind) ends, our interests just don’t seem… interesting, we pick majors in college that make us miserable, and the list goes on. And every time, we ask: “Now what?”
The answer? Forward, always forward. Remember that it may be an end, but it is not the end.
Easier said than done, I know. So, how do you deal?
- Don’t be ashamed that you’re going to have to make some changes.
Let’s say you’re in college. You’ve decided to major in biology because, hey, it’s pretty interesting, all of your friends are also taking the science route, and your family is really impressed that you want to do research. Then just one semester in, and you’re already thinking, “What am I doing?!” You’ve reached an end with that interest. So now you need to find something new, but what is everyone going to think? Put that out of your mind, and remember: this is your decision, and it is impacting your life. Don’t let shame get in the way of pursuing something that will make you happier. Who knows, some changes may even lead you to finding your passion (and that is an awesome moment!).
- Learn something from the experience that has ended.
You’re in that post-break-up time, and you’re struggling to imagine when you’ll either be happily single again or happily in a relationship with another person. How in the world are you going to move on from this end? There isn’t a simple solution, but one way to cope with the end of a meaningful experience is to take time to think about why it was such a meaningful experience. What did you learn? What would you have done differently? What would you not change? What do you hope to get out of your next experience? Answer questions like these, and you may go on to your next life event (whether it be a new relationship, a new job, etc.) with more insight and confidence on what you hope to gain from your new adventure.
- Ask for help.
Chances are, friends and family have encountered the same “Now what?” moments. Ask for suggestions, and be open to them. Even if someone offers up something that just doesn’t “seem like you,” try it out! (Now there’s no need to do anything that you aren’t comfortable with, but if you are comfortable with a suggestion, go for it.)
So, how do you cope when you just don’t know what to do next?
OpenMind 